Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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