I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
