i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up under a house in Key West
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