Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
