We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
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You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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