I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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