No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
