just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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