I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ugly people sure do ruin things
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
