And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
