I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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