I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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