I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
