You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
