how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
