I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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