ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
