yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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