I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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