She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
