hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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