I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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