I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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