Sry I called you an 8
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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