Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
