Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
