Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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