all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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