Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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