Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
