we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
