mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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