Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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