So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
