I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
