Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
