And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
