just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
