At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
