yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
