Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
