he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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