Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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