Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
