Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
