I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
