Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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