id be glad to
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
