Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize