So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
