I didn't shave. On purpose
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
