I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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