I want to stick my p in your. b.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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