i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
