Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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