I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
