I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
