i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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